why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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