Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He kissed a someone with a penis
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
