I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
