Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
