Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
