All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Never underestimate the power of titties
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
