We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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