if i died would you start the facebook group?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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