It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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