dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
