non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
