He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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