I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
