i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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