Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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