I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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