You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
