I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
