I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I want her autograph on my taint
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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