how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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