I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize