I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
