I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
