At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
