Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
