i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
