did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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