I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Who died my cat blue again?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
