Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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