Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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