so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
