i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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