I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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