; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
