spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
