3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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