Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
