i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
