...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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