I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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