tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
