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Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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