her vagine was all disorganized.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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