White coat. Heels.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
