I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
