i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
