? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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