fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
