Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
