have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
