Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
