Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
