I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
