i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
