I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
