Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
