Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
