We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
