I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
