Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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