its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
honey bunches of taint.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize