how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
This baby is an asshole
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My vagina just clenched in fear
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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