I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
