True but thats because hes a fetus.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize