We're facebook friends in real life
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
im holly from the hills drunk
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
