barbara walters just said penis...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
